She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
