Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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