'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize