i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
