Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
