i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
