i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
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life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
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She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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