Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
