im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize