I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
