I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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