does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
