She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
