i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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