Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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