But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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