i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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