Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
