Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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