A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
