so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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