Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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