So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Semen is not good for contacts.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
