Sponge bath it is.
I have demons in me.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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