I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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