You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize