dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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