Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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