So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
