I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
