i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
