My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
