god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
