those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
