Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
