New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
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I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just pee around me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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