So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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