Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
