Say something about gay babies.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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