THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
