just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
