I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well I just put wine in my tea
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
