at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
this just has baby written all over it
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
