Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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