But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize