worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
