do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
