Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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