I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
