dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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