I cockslap morals
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Bring me that man meat
i now understand why vodka
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
