physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
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Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
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They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!