handjob tips. give me some.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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