i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
