I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm at about main and main street
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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