what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
