Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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