Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
