No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
