he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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